Ahem. Is this thing on?

Blogging. So it's come to this. Blog, which I am convinced is basic internet shorthand for "bullshit log", is the most trendy medium for putting an opinion out there for all to see. To blog or not to blog, that is the question. No tests to pass, qualifications to possess. Hell, you've seen people who create these things. They look like they were written by a 1st grader....e.g. "My huband and I went to camping in woods on Satrday-was grate but it wuz raining and got mudy and gross outside ewwwwww...."

Captivating stuff, I know.

There's a blog for everything. Want to read about the guy who documents his toenail clipping ritual-like exploits each day? Check their blog. Want to read about that crazy friend of yours who has no life except on the internet? Blog it, baby! Care to check up on the latest political rantings of your favorite party/cause/issue? Vote with the blog, amigo! Want to read about things that have nothing to do with anything? B-to the L to the O to the G, homies!

What's my blog about? We'll see. In the accounting world I used to work in, we called it WIP, or work in process. That's what this little experiment is. It's for amusement purposes only.

What amazes me is the fanatical dedication people have for posting their blog entries. They actually APOLOGIZE when they don't update the blog for an extended period of time. I sure hope Bob in Boise isn't going to be pissed off when I update this. Not sure I have the patience or the free time to post every day, but I'm usually good for a yuk or two.

For some, it's an outlet. For some, a way to express themselves. For me, I choose to use it as a vehicle to make fun of others and society in general. (Or post pictures of my dog, whichever I choose. Screw you for judging me.) As Uncle Steve says, you gotta "keep smilin".

So it was obviously time for my own blog, since I'm stuck in 2003 apparently and needed to get with the program. I mean, how many times can I hear something similar to the following: "What, you don't have a blog? You dipshit. What purpose is your life without a BLOG???? Where's your sense of self-purpose? And most importantly, DID YOU SEE THE REALLY COOL SHIT I PUT ON MY BLOG LAST NIGHT? I RULE!!!!!

Let's recap my feelings about blogging. I'm SO SICK of reading blogs about other people's kids, what they ate for dinner, the fact that their job/husband/house/etc sucks. So SCREW THAT. Why don't you go play with your kids, eat something different, get a divorce, remodel your kitchen or just FUCK OFF and read a good book. Does anybody care that your child took a dump in his diaper for the 2nd time that day? Probably not. (For the record, mine just did and he's gotten quite good at it.)

So a quick summary: I'm not here to read your blog. You're here to read mine. And whether you like it or not is your own affair. My family's moments are mine to cherish and remember, so I won't be boring you with those details. I don't need to publish a picture of my kid in his exer-saucer to validate my abilities as a father, or talk about my dog's vicious attacks of collitis one cold March morning. I'm taking the gamble that you don't care, and if you do, I don't want you reading my blog anyway.

Enjoy the ride, kids. If you don't like what you see, I'm sure someone's blogging about their fond memories of Jolt cola somewhere.